The Heavy poker

"I am heavy weapons guy... and these... are my cards."

"Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe...maybe. I have yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet."- The Heavy on battle strategies.

The Heavy Weapons Guy (Heavy for short) is a Russian mercenary and defensive class from the Team Fortress series. In Poker Night at the Inventory, he plays after Strong Bad and before Tycho Brahe.


The Heavy made his debut in the Quake mod Team Fortress, which was later ported to Valve's GoldSrc engine as Team Fortress Classic. His appearance and personality in Poker Night at the Inventory comes from the Source sequel, Team Fortress 2.

The Heavy is the largest and has the most health of the Team Fortress 2 classes carrying a minigun he calls Sasha that can tear opponents to shreds at close range. To compensate he has poor long range fire power and is a huge target for Snipers and Spies. When in battle Heavy is very loud and boisterous, he relies on Engineers and Medics for support. He has the odd tendancy to personify his weapons, like naming and cuddling his miniguns and taking advice from his "Sandvich", which is a ham sandwich that can instantly heal him of any ills or injuries. Surprisingly, Heavy's conversations with Tycho reveal he has a degree in Russian Literature. He also counters many other common Russian traits like alcoholism (he prefers peach bellini to vodka and admits he's susceptible to hangovers), a love for Communism (his assassination fee is $500,000), and even the near universal love for Tetris.

According to him, he learned of the Inventory from the RED Engineer.

Poker StrategyEdit

The Heavy plays it safe, folding whenever he has less than satisfactory hands. He does make aggressive raises with a big stack of chips. This play, contrasted with that of Max and Strong Bad, means he tends to be eliminated close to the end of the tournament. This makes it somewhat difficult to beat him outright, since whenever he stays for the hand, he tends to have good ones. However, this also means you do not need to worry about him as much, since he has a rather broad definition of a bad hand.

Heavy's TellsEdit

  • If the Heavy slams his fist on the table, he has a bad hand.
  • If the Heavy checks his cards and looks furious, he has a bad hand.
  • If the Heavy adjusts his belt, he has a decent hand.
  • If the Heavy checks his cards and nods, he has a good hand.
  • If the Heavy rubs the bottom of his nose, he has a very good hand.
  • If the Heavy stretches his neck after betting, he is bluffing.

Relationships with other CharactersEdit

Max Heavy and Max seem to treat each other as friends, talking about their lines of work and Max even inviting Heavy to cameo in one of their future games. Max additionally promises to take care of ghosts for the Heavy. Though on some occasions, Heavy threatens to make a hat out of Max (see below).
Strong Bad Heavy and Strong Bad get along with each other very well. They both seem to enjoy violence (except when the Heavy says he took the enemy Engineer's wrench from him and shoved it down his throat and ripped off all of his fingers). He often calls Strong Bad a "mini heavy," which Strong Bad doesn't appreciate. They both tend to enjoy boxing. When Strong Bad mentions he has a liking for hot spies, Heavy makes a joke by saying that the Pyro will give him a hot spy.  (This is because The Pyro has an advantage over the Spy class called where he can easily burn a cloaked or disguised Spy.) This upsets Strong Bad because Heavy hates spies and works with someone who is tasked to kill spies.
Tycho Heavy and Tycho have a mixed relationship. He may not trust Tycho because of a blue sweater he's wearing (making Heavy think he works for BLU, the Heavy's enemy team), though in other cases, they seem to enjoy casual conversation. Because Heavy thinks Tycho works for BLU as a spy, Tycho will taunt him saying he can kill his team, steal his Intelligence (Which, in Team Fortress 2, is a briefcase that is considered the flag in CTF mode), and mail his sister to his doorstep saying he is a new class.
The Player Heavy thinks The Player is "weak, like tiny baby", and is always shocked whenever The Player actually wins a hand. If The Player wins however, he will always admire him/her, without getting angry.

Heavy's Collateral - The Iron CurtainEdit

The Heavy's buy-in is canonically the Heavy's first minigun (and first love) he crafted, which he affectionately calls Sasha. It is still unknown on why he calls his minigun Sasha. The regular Sasha also appears when all the players hold Tycho at gunpoint for not admitting defeat. If Heavy is knocked out out he will grab the minigun, move it a little closer to his head, say "Goodbye, my love," before picking it up and moving it next to whomever knocked him out, then sadly walking away. If Max knocks him out, Max will repeat his comment (in a slightly different tone) saying "It's beautiful!"

Heavy TriviaEdit

  • In the Game, the Heavy states that he likes the first 20 minutes of Rocky IV. This is a reference to the fact that the film's main antagonist, Ivan Drago, is a Russian boxer.
  • His drink of choice is a peach bellini, though he says he sometimes gets a headache from its bubbles, but however, due to that "Poker Night at the Inventory" is non-canon, it's not known if this is actually true.
  • The Heavy thinks of chips as teammates, just as he personifies his Sandvich and miniguns.
  • Sometimes, the Heavy will not have money in the beginning of the game claiming he bought "gifts" for Sasha. Therefore, for him to keep playing, he will offer up his Iron Curtain, which can be obtained by busting him out.
  • The Heavy is unaware that he is a game character. He even believes his cycle of dying and respawning are a series of nightmares, which Tycho actually knows the truth about.
  • The Heavy states that when he eats the Sandvich, he becomes an unstoppable killing machine. This is a reference to the "Meet the Sandvich" promotional short, where he brutally kills a Scout and a Soldier offscreen after eating one half of his Sandvich.
  • The Heavy thinks Strong Bad is a "tiny" Heavy, due to his dominantly red clothing and his "hands" resembling the KGB (Killing Gloves of Boxing).
  • The Heavy uses his "inside voice" in the game, which lead people to believe that he wasn't voiced by Gary Schwartz, his voice actor for Team Fortress 2.
  • The Heavy admits to having a fear of ghosts. This is no doubt a reference to the ghosts which terrorize multiple Halloween-themed maps in the game during the annual Halloween events.
  • To avoid crushing the chips and cards, the Heavy uses only two fingers to lift them.
  • The Heavy calls weak hands "Baby Hands", and good hands "Big Man Hands". He is also highly amused when Strong Bad says that the Player has baby hands.
  • The Heavy believes in Honor, as he states that he kills people for "Honor". It is unknown if it's honor for himself, the RED team, Russia, or his minigun Sasha.
    • When The Player beats the Heavy he says "Beat me once, shame on me. Beat me twice, also shame on me. Beat me three Times?! I am sent to my death". However, since the Heavy "respawns", he can't really die.
  • When the Heavy loses, he takes a seat in a darkened booth not so far away from the poker table, spectating the event.
  • Due to a glitch by Valve, the Iron Curtain was temporarily craftable by using Primary Slot Token and a Scrap Metal. This was later patched.
  • When you beat the Heavy and take his weapon, he somehow manages to get it back in Team Fortress 2, which makes it odd, since the Player is meant to own it. Then again, this game isn't canon.
  • The Heavy states quite clearly to Max, "I will make hat from you, little bunny," an obvious reference to a TF2 hat appropriately named "Max's Severed Head" which was a preorder bonus for The Devil's Playhouse.
    • Also, Heavy says to Max after one of his conversations "You crack me up, little bunny." This is a reference to Max's namesake series, where upon saying something funny, Sam would say "You crack me up, little buddy."
  • Sometimes, when the Heavy folds, he will accuse an enemy Spy for "sabotaging" his cards. The reason behind this is that the TF2 Spy uses an electro-sapper to deactivate and eventually destroy friendly buildings.
  • Even though the Heavy has a Hardware Morph model used in the Meet the Team videos, he uses his regular model in Poker Night at the Inventory that does not have wrinkles or improved shadows in the ears (his HWM model can be seen in the non-English versions of Meet the Heavy and in the new version).
  • If someone wins over him with a three of a kind or better, he will burst out into rage, destroy the cards he has in his hand, then flip the table open and attempt to open fire with his Minigun. Before he manages to, the screen switches back to normal as nothing has happend, and he responds by saying "Deal new hand now". But this is rare to get, as getting a good hand can be proven difficult.
  • Strong Bad often calls the Heavy "Ivan", even though it was later revealed in TF Comics #3 that his real name is Mikhail, or 'Misha' for short. Not that it matters... as none of this is canon
  • (This happens only if Strong Bad is still in the game) When folding, he has a chance to say "Strong Bad might have good cards." This can be a warning to the player that Strong Bad indeed does have good cards, or it can reveal Strong Bad's strategy of bluffing.
  • Tycho mentions that the Heavy has a sister while bragging about his computer skills before it was made "canon" in this comic.
  • When someone goes all in, The Heavy will sometimes exclaim "хорошо". This is Russian for "All right!" or "Nice!"

Team Fortress Wiki LinkEdit

New version of Meet the Heavy on YouTube, original on EA Games as part of the first Orange Box trailer

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