((everyone folds to him))
m (Player's Win: ahhhhhh)
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===Player's Win===
===Player's Win===
*I guess that's a good hand. Like a baby hand. You have baby hands.<br />'''Heavy''': Hahaha! Baby hands!
*'''Strong Bad: '''I guess that's a good hand. Like a baby hand. You have baby hands.<br />'''Heavy''': Hahaha! Baby hands!
*Nice hand, gigantic cheater.
*Nice hand, gigantic cheater.
*So you got a couple of lucky cards. You know you're gonna get hit by a truck on the way home. Right? It's the inverse property of luck have.
*So you got a couple of lucky cards. You know you're gonna get hit by a truck on the way home. Right? It's the inverse property of luck have.

Revision as of 23:58, March 14, 2020

Game Start

  • Chump change I say, chump change!

Wagering Dangeresque Too?

Strong Bad: Oh...Uh...I couldn't fit my briefcase full of cash in these pants, on account on my ample hind bosom. But I DO have these cool-cool-fady-shady Dangeresque glasses! They're worth like five ten thousand So, we're good right? You guys bought that?
Winslow: If nobody else has a problem with it, Strong Bad will be buying in with collateral. Whoever knocks him out will receive his buy-in.



"Call My Bet!"

  • Man, I would hate to play against me.
  • Call it! Fold! Call it! Fold! I'm inside your head!
  • Don't worry about your chippies, little chippies.
  • Looks like you're gonna have to fooooooold!

"Call His Bet!"

  • You'd know exactly what to do here if you used Strong Bad's Ultra System for Perfect Pokering. Illegal in 42 states.
  • I don't get pushed around, but maybe you do.
  • Just go for it!
  • Think of all the delicious pancakes that bet can buy.


  • Hmm...
  • Ehh...
  • Well...
  • This is a harder decision than that time Strong Sad AND Homestar both asked me for dessert and I only had one laxative brownie left.
  • Nothing intimidates your opponents like a heavy dose of think-hard! [Squints his eyes and groans while Heavy watches, confused]
  • I don't know...
  • Right about now, somebody at the table should exhibit a painfully obvious tell.
  • Hm, luckily, my The Cheat is covering me for any big bets that don't go my way.
  • Hmm. Let me just recall what to do from my patented Wagering System of the Stars. (stands up and moves like a machine) Tikka-tikka-tikka-tikka-tikka-ting! Ah, of course!
  • Maybe instead of doing anything, I'll just go into a meditative state. (chanting) Erinblerinthebigfatheron, Erinblerinthebigfatheron...
  • Hm. Whatever I choose is going to be awesome...
  • I don't even think that's a very big bet. I'm just trying to think as hard as my seven-pack abs.
  • Let me just ask my two friends what they would do. (holds up his fists, speaks to left one) Gilbert, what do you think? (turns to right fist) How about you, Montlick?
  • Do I bet now so I can get home in time for 227, or do I lull you into a false sense of security?



  • Betting!
  • I bet.
  • I'll bet.
  • I... bet.
  • I'm bettin'.

(small bet)

  • I'll toss a few chippies into the pot. Chippy chippie.
  • A little bet for a lotta cool guy
  • Let's make this a little interesting, shall we?
  • Alright, I'LL be the one to put some money in, scare-dees.
  • I'll bet a small amount so you amateurs don't wet yourselves.
  • This bet is so small it should really just count as a check.

(big bet)

  • I guess I can toss a little money into the pot. And by "toss" I mean that a crane is going to have to lower it down onto the table!
  • Yeah, it's a lot of money, don't worry too much about it. I mean, I don't.
  • Don't freak out, I'm betting a lot. But I asked your mom last night, and she said it was cool.
  • Here come da judge! Here come da judge!
  • Yeah, I just bet that. Don't lose your minds.



  • Raisin' in the sun.
  • I'm raising.
  • Don't even have any good cards, just raising for no good reason.
  • I'm raising, and not even caring. (mumbles)
  • Raise.
  • OK, I raise.
  • Oh, I'll raise.
  • Just a friendly, casual raise.
  • Strong Bad: BOOM! Raise!
    Tycho: That... wasn't that much.
    Strong Bad: It's gotta seem like a boatload to a pantload like yourself.
  • (yawns, then smacks lips as if he's bored) Raise...I guess...
  • I don't think you bet enough. I raise.
  • It might not seem like much, but my pal Foyle Branson, not-pretend poker pro, would want me to raise a lil' bit here.
  • C'mon, how about a little bit more?


  • You're not the only one who can spread the mustard (pronounced "moo-stard")! Reraise!
  • How do you feel about... another raise? Not the toughest of guys now, eh?
  • (quickly) Reraise reraise reraise!
  • (talking to himself) Oh, is that right? Is it now? Hmm, well RERAISE!
  • I'm going. To raise you. Some more.

Player Checks

  • You keep checking and I'll keep checking out the layyyyyyyyyyyyyyydays.
  • Thank god you're here.
  • {mockingly} Watch out everyone! HUUGE check!
  • You must have CHECKED your coolness at the door! Huh? Huuh?



  • Check.
  • I'll check.
  • OK, I check.
  • I'm good.
  • I check.
  • All right, I check.
  • Check check check it out.
  • Checkiiiiiiing.

(last to check)

  • Let's do it.
  • Maybe I won't check? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, check.
  • Free card!



  • Calling!
  • I'm callin'.
  • Call.
  • Oh, I'm calling.
  • I'll call.
  • I call.

(in the first round)

  • I'm totally in this hand. Total, man.
  • These are the good ones.
  • Can't wait to see me a flippy floppy.
  • Oh, yeah, uh-let's do this.

(calling a small bet)

  • Bwaha! I could sell The Cheat's nail clippings at Bub's for more than that!
  • Oohhh, the girls will go craaazy for a huge bet like that! HAHA- I call.
  • With a bet like that, you better wash your hands. {smiles, raises the pitch of his voice} Cause I know you're holding crap!
  • I'm not even going to count how much that is, because I call, and I don't care anymore. I don't care.
  • That is like...pennies, man.
  • I call, NBD.

(calling a big bet)

  • Trying to raise me off the pot, 'cause you think I have the wheel? Or the tire? Or the Guatemalan tricycle? I call!
  • Going to take more than that, pally.
  • Who do you think I am, that tightwad The King Of Town?
  • Oh, I call your bet! Which is clearly just you trying to impress the ladies... at home. Mmm...

(before the hole cards are revealed)

  • Alright, show whatever embarrassing cards you've got.
  • Let's see them!
  • Oh, didn't think I was gonna make you show your cards, huh?

Can't Afford Blind

  • So, it's come to this.
  • Just...just SHUT UP! This is all I've got left, okay flapjack?
  • No whammies!
  • (worried) Let's do this, chippies.

All In

  • All in.
  • Yeah. I'm all in.
  • I'm all in!
  • I'm going all in.
  • Oh man, I'm so sorry, this is gonna make you cry, because I'm all in.
  • It's the moment you've all been waiting for! Hhhccaaalll hhccciiinnn. That was... me saying "all in."
  • I hope you're all wearing two belts, cause I'm about to all-in the pants off this mo'.
  • I'm doin' it.

All In (Different Player)

  • (higher pitched voice) Wow!
  • Woah!
  • Jeeze St. Jeezum!
  • Squeedilywoooooow!
  • Ooh, that's classic.
  • Ooh! {turns his head away and speaks softly, feigning indifference} I mean... cool, whatever.

Player Folds

  • Impressive folding, somethingface. Can I get you to fold my laun-dray?
  • That's cool... if you're NOT concerned with impressing the ladies.
  • Yeah, that's pretty much what a loser would do.



  • Crap.
  • Nope.
  • I don't think so.
  • I'll... fold.
  • I'm folding this crap.
  • And I'm out.
  • I fold.
  • Fold.
  • Maybe Homestar would be dumb enough to play these.
  • {singing} I'm gonna fold these real easily, or they're gonna-gonna make me real queasily.
  • No way, man.
  • These aren't awesome.
  • I'm gonna fold, and then sit here.
  • Uhhh, no... Uhh, no... Uh, no.
  • These cards suck harder than the King of Town at the bottom of a 72-ounce melt-shake.
  • I'm not even going to dignify these cards with my sweet touch in order to fold them.
  • These cards are like the ladies: they WISH they were getting played by me.

(during a run of bad cards)

  • {in a musical tone} This suuuucks!
  • Come on! These cards is bloke.
  • Don't worry about me not playing, guys. I'm gonna keep folding so you don't have to! You can thank me later.
  • I guess cheating is cool. You want to make sure I don't win every hand by giving me crap cards every time.
  • Hey, look, more cards that smell like week-old dump cake!

(at the flop)

  • Ohhh, it's the worst three cards I ever saaaw!
  • Flop, flop crahhhh-aaap. Crop. Trying to make it rhyme. ...See what I was doing there?
  • Flops are stupid, but floppy disks are analogawesome!
  • That flop is scarier than most Marzipans I know.
  • This is where I kick back and relax, ladies.
  • I better get out now, save some money, work from home, be your own boss, earn extra cash.

(at the turn)

  • That's not even close to the card I want.
  • OK, that card sucks pretty bad.
  • What?! The fourth card was supposed to make my hand undefeat-a-beat-able!

(at the river)

  • The RIVER. I'd like to drown that card's family in a river.
  • Look, I'm sure that card made somebody's hand awesome, like, in Chinese. But I'm playing in English.

(intimidated out of hand)

  • Whoa, whoa, whoa, I know everybody wants to play because I'm in the hand, but you guys can fight amongst yourselves. Like mangy jackals. With jetpacks.
  • I'm folding and thereby bringing the cool factor of this hand down by 99%.
  • (snootily) All the lame kids are playing in this hand.
  • Strong Bad: There are too many fools in this hand.
    Tycho: Yeah, you better recuse yourself so there can be one less.
    Strong Bad: Yeah, I better go recuse a hot damsel in distress while you play a game made for sweaty grandmas.
  • I could totally call that, but I don't want to give anyone the satisfaction.
  • That bet is so not high that it's an insult. I fold in protest.
  • Folding. For personal reasons.
  • Ha, like a little bet like that could get me to fold. I'm just going to take a bathwoom bweak.
  • You know, I feel sorry for you. Why don't you take it?
  • Take the pot and buy yourself some new threads. Those are an embarrassment.
  • Consider this a charitable donation. Chicks dig philantropical...ointment.

Large Pot

  • That pot is like half of the gross domestic product of Strongbadia. And our chief export, {waving his hands, in a singsong voice} potash!
  • Ooh. I could buy a new Compy with that pot. One with a half-core processor.
  • Think of all the delicious pancakes you can buy with that pot.

Showdown Card Reveal (Positive)

  • Ooh! I mean, cool, whatever.
  • Yes!
  • Alright!
  • Squeedily-WOW!
  • Huttah!
  • Hecks Yeah!

Showdown Card Reveal (Negative)

  • Lame.
  • The pits!
  • What! {grumble}
  • Come ON!
  • Aaaaaarrrgh.



  • Of course I've got the best cards man! That is what they call me, Got-the-Best-Cards-Man!
  • All I gots is this {tauntingly} winning hand! Psyche! Face! WHOOP! PLOWWMPH!
  • Oh man, it feels so much cooler to flip over my cards to win all the big ones.
  • I only play red cards. I mean, good cards.

(consecutive wins)

  • Strong Bad: {mocking tone} Oh man, whaaaaaat happened?
    Tycho: You want me to say you won again?
    Strong Bad: I guess so. I mean if that's what happened for real and for true. Riiiiiight?
    Tycho: Die a sad, pitiful, painful death.
  • {singing} I won again! {normal} Man, I really hope this is being recorded for a VHS boxset.
  • Win again dot exe! Dot gov… dot org.
  • Keep a'bettin' the mun-ney and no one can a'beat-a'me.
  • Just gonna keep winning. Same type deal. Twice times. Twice times.
  • In your collective face, dorks. Same for my previous wins which were up your collective BUTT.

(after a run of bad cards)

  • Look who's back, ladies!
  • Ohhhh, I win! What a welcome change of pace! Looks like SOMEONE finally stopped cheating! I'm lookin' at you, Weapons.
  • ALRIGHT! FINALLY! Uh, I mean, cool. Whatever. I'm used to winning. All the time.

(everyone folds to him)

  • Wow, what losers you all are.
  • Thanks, guys! (pronounced with a J)
  • (to Max) Just because those three jokers folded doesn't mean you have to.
  • For meeee?!
  • Nothing like makin' a buck the easy way.


  • That's just great. To-o-o-o-o-tal crap.
  • I just...hate you. So much.
  • No, no, no! Plain ol' simple Middle American values no!

Player's Win

  • Strong Bad: I guess that's a good hand. Like a baby hand. You have baby hands.
    Heavy: Hahaha! Baby hands!
  • Nice hand, gigantic cheater.
  • So you got a couple of lucky cards. You know you're gonna get hit by a truck on the way home. Right? It's the inverse property of luck have.
  • Anybody can get lucky. But it takes skill to get lucky like Strong Bad.
  • {in his old Mexican accent} Look at that!
  • You know this game was rigged, right? By your mom. She paid me to do it. She pays all your friends too. And the woman you call grandma.
  • That's just great. Tooootal crap.
  • That's not as great as the time I had a straight flush and a full house in the same hand. A flush house!

Player's Loss (Player has a Bad Hand)

  • Those are your cards? (in faux Asian accent) I feel bad for yo mutha.
  • {in a mocking tone} Oh, man! Do you even {exaggerates the word} know how to play?
  • Maybe you're, like, color AND number-blind. Or just blind? Or just...number?
  • There's no quicker way to turn the hotties off than by being a terrible poker player, man.

Splitting the Pot

  • Wait, crap-- WHAT!? We're really going to let Talky McAFGNCAAP over here win the whole meal deal?
  • Grr...gimme back my chippies! Come back to poopaw!
  • WHAAAAAT?!? A tie!? That's the biggest rip this side of Strong Mad's grundies!
  • What? This hand is way awesomer than yours! Don't I get a bonus for style points?!
  • Strong Bad: Alright, I'll just take all these chips then. Somebody want to get me some onion dip?
    (Note: Only one of these two will respond.)
    Heavy: I do not think so.
    Tycho: The fuck you will.
  • But my hand is undefeatabeatable! Unfortunately, it isn't undefyatieable.

Player is Eliminated

  • Take it easy man, it's only a game.
  • Ouch, man. I'd feel like a real ouch man if I was knocked out already.
  • Oh, look! A loser! In the wild!
  • Later, cillian!
  • (singing) I took your money, and it's not funnay... I mean, it is actually really funnay...

Eliminated from Play

  • Well, that was a quivering pile of not fun.
  • Later, cheaters.
  • Well, crap.
  • I don't even know why I sign up for these things. Lame appearance fees just get gobbled up by The Cheat's Jaffa Cake problem anyhow.
  • Alright, I'm blowing this popstinkle stand!

Eliminated from Play (after wagering Dangeresque, Too?)

  • ...well, crap.

Wins item

  • Maybe I'll use this to bribe The Cheat into doing something hilariously illegal!
  • (Enthusiast's Timepiece) Great. Useless crap. This is going in a hole in Strong Badia.

Player Wins the Tournament

  • What? We're really going to let Talky McTalktake win the whole deal?
  • You know I let you win, right? I like to see how the other half lives sometimes.
  • {angrily} Walk away, Strong Bad...walk away...{flails his arms} DON'T...LOSE IT! Kck-kck-kck-kck-kck!

Winning the Tournament

  • AND THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE! {Stands on chair, starts rocking it side to side; falls on floor} OW! Crap.
  • Eat it, Telltales! I know you only invited me to this tournament for my Emmy-nominated table talk, but I actually won! {pauses} Uh, the tournament, not the Emmy. {Frustrated muttering} Freakin' Dave Foley...
  • all of this money will soon be turned into explodey-fireworks, machete-bikes, and VIDELECTRIX GAMES!

Player is Idle

  • This is less fun than one of Homsar's late night Jenga-jams.
  • I'm not getting any younger. But I am getting more dignified.
  • PLAY!
  • Quit yo' sweet timin'!
  • I've got, like, a million other places to be, like exclusive parties. With models. The airplane AND the fleshy kind!
  • Ugh, I'd have more fun playing a Telltale game. Or should I say, "listening TO and occasionally clicking ON a Telltale game."
  • This is as boring as hanging out with the tire when it's in one of its moods.
  • (urgently) Hurry up! Before this Heavy guy jumps me into his gang!


With Heavy

  • Strong Bad: So, Heavyman, they got those guys on the corner that sell bootlegged DVDs off a blanket in your country?
    Heavy: I like movies, yes.
    Strong Bad: Yeah? Like what? Fists of Knuckles? Beneath Fists of Knuckles? Fists of Knuckles: Babies? Classics!
    Heavy: No... My favorites are the Dirty Dozen and the first twenty minutes of Rocky IV.
  • Strong Bad: Hey, Heavym'n? Do you think you could "take care of" The King of Town for me?
    Heavy: I can assassinate King, yes. Is expensive though.
    Strong Bad: Whoa, whoa, whoa. By "take care of", I meant maybe you and me sneak into his room and shave off half his mustache
    Heavy: I am not best at sneaking
    Strong Bad: Maybe we could confront him in a dark alley then?
    The Heavy: This is better. That way blood wash away in rain
    Strong Bad: Oh, man. You're going to totally murder the King of Town, aren't you? {in a happy tone} Oh, well!
  • Strong Bad: Why do you keep calling me "Tiny Heavy"?
    Heavy: You are heavy, tiny, no? You are RED Team. You have Killing Gloves of Boxing. You earn these for being great killer. You should try out for RED Team.
    Strong Bad: Hmmm. I guess I could join your team of ruthless killers and lame hat-wearers and watch you get grenaded by 8-year-olds. I will play the role of Team Mother and Lord High Ragamuffin.
    Heavy: You take many bullets before dying, I think.
    Strong Bad: I likes the heroically tragic direction of my character.
  • Strong Bad: Hey, Heavym'n, what's your living situashe?
    Heavy: I live in RED barracks. Is nice. There is foos table.
    Strong Bad:
    What do you say to taking a room in the House of Strong?
    Heavy: There is vacancy?
    Strong Bad: Well, first, you'll have to engage in the time-honored tradition of tossing the fat hump of dump that currently occupies your new room out the second story window.
    Heavy: This is enemy?
    Strong Bad: Strong Sad won't put up much of a fight. He doesn't put up much of a pulse as it is.

With Max

  • Strong Bad: (In a obviously fake tone, like he's reading off a script) Other than HOMESTAR RUNNER DOT COM, do you have any other favorite websites, Max?
    Max: (confused) Huh? I’ve got some favorite sites for laying in wait for criminals and general ne’erdowells around the city if that’s what you’re asking.
    Strong Bad: (In the same tone) I said, do you have any favorite websites, Max? (Hissed whisper) You’re going to cost me fifty bucks!
    Max: Oh! (takes on the same tone as Strong Bad) When I’m on the internet, I can’t stay away from double u double u double u dot telltale games dot com slash store. (flashes a grin at the camera)
  • Strong Bad: I don't trust you one bit, ra-bbit.
    Max: It's ok, I don't trust myself.
    Strong Bad: How do we know that you don't have a never ending stack of aces wherever you put your gun?
    Max: Well, you don't, but you're welcome to look!
  • Strong Bad: So... Max. You're like one of those {pronounces as poke mons} poke-mons, right?
    Max: {narrows eyes} My genus and phylum is a mystery to all mankind.
    Strong Bad: Because I'd love to see some prepubescent pointy-haired kid run in here and stick you inside of a baseball {laughs at the end of the word}. {in a high pitched voice, with a smile} That would be hilarious.
    Max: Are you talking about the red-capped kidnapper who terrorized the fauna on the Upper West Side for months?
    Strong Bad: Maybe.
    Max: Because Sam, Flint, and I caught him trying to stuff a chimpanzee into his knapsack, and made him cry for his mommy.
  • Strong Bad: You guys should know that {raises his arms and shakes his head} I don't mind playing for such low stakes {narrows his eyes and shakes his head} I know you all must be strapped for cash during these... tough economic times.
    Max: I had a sizable checking account in 1992, but they closed it when Sam and I used it while learning to launder money. (realizes everyone's staring at him) For research!
  • Strong Bad: Say, Bunnym'n. How badly did those Telltales hose you on your licensing agreement?
    Max: Eh, Sam and I just focus on fighting crime. People have been making money on our exploits for decades.
    Strong Bad: No, I mean those incompetent dorks who captured maybe an ounce of our charm and charmisma in their terrible video game. Point on this, click on that. How 'bout I use MY fist on YOUR face, Telltales.
    Max: Um, maybe you have me confused for someone else. Yeah. I disfigure bad guys and fight crime in New York City. That's my thing.
    Strong Bad: We're being ex-ploi-ted.
    Max: {excitedly} Ooh, exploitation! Santa Claus subjugated an entire race of elves in Season Two and Three.

With Tycho

  • Strong Bad: Hey dork. Hey dork. Hey dork.
    Tycho: I assume you're talking to me.
    Strong Bad: You know it. What sort of chintzy setup do you have at home?
    Tycho: Well, I built my desktop, it's pretty nice. I've got uh... let's see...
    Strong Bad: YEAH, YEAH, I hate you whatever. I've got like a 500cc super core Compy with like a tetra bat of graphics and all the bells and whistles! Actually, the entire computer is made of bells and whistles.
    Tycho: So, it's completely custom.
    Strong Bad: Yeah, yeah! And those bells and whistles are made out of flutes and oboes. It's okay to be jealous of my style.
    Tycho: I'll keep that in mind.
  • Strong Bad: Hey, dork-take, you can't be a video game fanboy without digging the complete library of Videlectrix titles, amiright?
    Tycho: I am a proponent of the classics, certainly.
    Strong Bad: Classic? I'm talking about Videlectrix's latest releases!
    Tycho: Like...?
    Strong Bad: Like "Snake Boxer 6: Now the Snakes Have Fists Too."
    Tycho: That would make the snakes a greater threat.
    Strong Bad: That's the point.
  • Strong Bad: Your hair looks like a greasy hedgehog (unnassociated with any video game license), that went to the barber and said "Just a little off the suck, please."
    Tycho: People always assume hedgehogs are greasy. Members of the order erineceamorpha are proud and extremely fastidious mammals.
    Strong Bad: You said it, not me.
    Tycho: If one can overcome his trepidation at the sight of her spines, a hedgehog can make a wonderful pet. Or...companion. Their spines are not spines at all but soft hairs made firm with keratin. At first, she may bristle at your touch. But as she warms to you...she may place a tiny paw on the glass. Whispering, touch me. Touch me like no man ever could. (long pause) Um, sorry, you were saying?
    Strong Bad: Oh nothing, just puking in my pants.
  • Strong Bad: At least this is more fun than poker night at Homestar's. Marzipan is always walking around Au-natural trying to get everyone to play no-loser Candy Land.
    Tycho: What's no-loser Candy Land?
    Strong Bad: I don't know. Loser!
  • Strong Bad: Hey, nerd-rancher. How many hits does your fansite-for-babies that I hate get a month?
    Tycho: {with a smug expression on his face} I don't really pay attention to that sort of thing... A couple million.
    Strong Bad: Ha, right! I get it. A few blajillion. Like on Monday, you got several ka-tillion hits. And on Tuesday, like half a blazill-illion.
    Tycho:: Those weren't even real numbers you just said.
    Strong Bad: I'm not the only one making up numbers.
    Tycho: {angrily} No, for real. It's like millions! I don't know how many millions.
    Strong Bad: Right. Well so does our website, bozo. {quickly} And so does Bozo's website.
  • Strong Bad: This treehouse of nerds pales in comparison to an even more secret club that I go to.
    Tycho: In Strong Badia, somewhere between an old tire and a pile of dog shit? Maybe you have to knock three times on the skull of a dead hobo in the bushes, perhaps?
    Strong Bad: Ha! You wish you knew where it was. And even if you did, they wouldn't let you in!

With Heavy and Max

  • Strong Bad: I wonder if this dump is haunted?
    Max: {cheerily} Ooh, I hope so. There's something about being able to terrorize a spectral being without it up and dying on you that {furrows eyebrows} I just love.
    Heavy: {sadly, lowers his head} I do not like ghost.
    Max: It's OK Mr. Weapons. I've got extensive experience with zombies and vampires. {points toward himself} I can handle a little ghost.
    Heavy: {with large eyes} You will take care of ghost for me?
    Max: {cheerily} You betcha.
    Heavy: {cheerily, nods his head} I like you, tiny rabbit.

With Heavy and Tycho

  • Strong Bad: Hey, Heavy. Know any hot Russian spies?
    Heavy: I hate spies.
    Strong Bad: But you gotta have the inside line on some deadly minxes named "Natalya" or "Khrushchevya"! Right?
    Heavy: You want hot spy?
    Strong Bad: Am I not "Wrestle-man"? Do I not "wrestle-bleed"?
    Heavy: I have friend who gets you a hot spy.
    Strong Bad: Get him on the two-way, man!
    Heavy: His name is Pyro.
    Tycho: Just real quick, the Spy is hot in this case because it is on fire.
    Strong Bad: Oooh... Not as good.
  • Strong Bad: Hey, Hefty Bag, you ever play video games?
    Heavy: Just one.
    Strong Bad: Oh yeah? What tickles your fancy?
    Heavy: It is called...
    Tycho: "WoW"?
    Heavy: Nyet. That is not popular. It is called "Where's an Egg?"
    Strong Bad: {waving his hands} Wh-wh-wh-WHAT? I love "Where's an Egg?"
    Heavy: "Where's an Egg?" is as big as "Tetris" in homeland!
  • Strong Bad: So, Tycho {emphasis on each syllable, pronounced tai-chow}, I hear you fancy your fancy self a bit of an internet celebrity.
    Tycho: There's a distinct difference between fancying yourself something and actually being something.
    Strong Bad: Oh, I'm sorry, I can't hear you because of all the traffic.
    Heavy: I hear no cars...
    Strong Bad: I'm talking about all my crazy web-traffic, Ivan! This guy thinks he's some kind of Strong Bad with his Geocities account.
    Tycho: Yeah, we have a convention. Last year, like sixty million people came. That's a lot.
    Strong Bad: Just because your attendees WEIGHED as much as sixty million people does not mean that's how many showed up to your rinky-dink dinky-shrink.
    Tycho: Well, we'll be sure YOU don't get a pass next year.
    Strong Bad: HA! Like any convention is worth its salt distilled from the sweat of a thousand gamer-dorks without me.
    Tycho: ...fucking chuwero.

With Max and Tycho

  • Strong Bad: I hear the cold ones are pretty good here.
    Tycho: Aren't you, like, ten?
    Strong Bad: You, shut face! They also shake up some decent banan-ag. {in a disinterested monotone} Banang. Bana-ang. Ba...
    Max: Stop it! {throws up his hands in frustration}
    Strong Bad: {long pause} Nang.
  • Strong Bad: Any of you guys listen to Limozeen? Or are they still too cool and underground?
    Tycho: {grumbles}
    Max: Sam and I spend a lot of time listening to our police scanner. Or the Johnny Cash stuck in the Desoto tape deck.
    Strong Bad: Whatever. In like five years, when everybody listens to 'em and they've crowned me "Official Tour Sloppy Seconds Haver", you guys are gonna be begging me for a backstage pass. Just beggin'.

Continuing a Conversation

  • Anyway...
  • So, as I was saying...
  • Where was I? Oh!
  • So anyway...
  • Back to what I was saying.
  • Oh, so...
  • Anyways, I was saying...
  • What the crap was I saying? Oh, right.
  • Anyways, back to me.
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